It's everywhere!

Oh, my nonexistent god. I can't take this nonsense any more.

We have a President and Congress attempting to turn America into a People's Republik. We have a national debt soaring into numbers that simply cannot be comprehended by the human brain. Half of America is subsidizing the other half. Unemployment runs rampant. We haven't quite reached the point of dogs and cats living together and mass hysteria, but I could swear I saw a stray tomcat giving a chihuahua the eye the other day.

There are real, important, relevant issues to discuss and debate. That's one of the reasons I've found myself listening to Sirius 'Patriot' 144 of late--it strips away all the drama and fluff. I don't have to hear about what some airhead celebrity is doing, with the exception of a few commercials advertising shows for people who actually give a crap about this stuff.

And today, half the shows just had to discuss...are you ready? Tiger freaking Woods.

Look, I don't follow sports, mainly because I actually have a life. If I did follow sports, I certainly wouldn't follow golf, an activity I consider just marginally more interesting than sitting in a doctor's waiting room with nothing to read but the June 1987 issue of Parenting magazine. And to top it off, the whole flap had nothing to do with his golf game--it was all about his other 'game,' knowhutimean, wink wink.

Obviously, this was earth-shattering news. After all, no celebrity (let alone a professional athlete) has ever stepped out on his wife in the whole entire history of the human race!! Hey, forget that nuke Iran just launched at Israel--this is IMPORTANT!! Get Dr. Drew on the phone! Set up a benefit concert! Alert the lamestream media and start arranging for a candlelight vigil! Make up some protest signs and take to the streets! This may well be the most significant event in our lifetimes!!

Or not.

What bothers me most about this whole brouhaha is that 'conservatives' are actually paying attention to it. See, a large percentage of the issues this country faces can be traced to the fact that far too many people, on all sides, are incapable of minding their own damn business. It matters not at all that Mr. Woods is a celebrity. This entire debacle is the business of only two people in the world: Mr. Woods, and Mrs. Woods. No one was raped, murdered or beaten as far as we know(well, maybe 'beaten,' but it's up to Tiger to decide if he wants to press charges. I wouldn't). None of what happened between them directly affects the lives of anyone else, and therefore, anyone with any class will simply turn away from the whole mess and 'mind their own.'

And that's the first, last and only thing you'll hear from me on the subject of Tiger's Wood. Now can we please get on with discussing things that actually matter?