"...it's just that they know so much that isn't so."

Via the illustrious Tam, we have a boilerplate example of how the Left thinks of us.  Seriously, dude appears to be the perfect stereotype of the angry, snarky, frightened Proglodyte, projecting his inadequacies all over people who can actually cope with reality.  Here's his bigoted screed, in italics, which I will answer below.


You’re a scared white person, almost certainly male.


White and male, correct.  Scared?  Nope.  I can deal with whatever life throws at me.  Except running out of beer.  That's terrifying.


You do not live in a major city, or near a university or intellectual hub of any note, nor have you ever traveled very far from your home town, much less out of state or anywhere further than, say, Mexico. Once. And that was enough.


I do not currently live in a major city, because I grew up in them and decided that the crime, traffic and constant light and noise weren't really anything I wanted to deal with.  Oh, and the two metro areas I grew up in were about as liberal as you can possibly get.  I've been to more than one foreign country, and been all over North America.


You do not read complicated books.


My house has a library, and we're running out of room in it.  I've been reading since I was younger than three, and my SAT's are in the 98th percentile.


You do not like new or weird things.


You have no idea how incorrect you are.


You watch lots of TV, mostly Fox News, which rejoices in showing you endless images of angry foreigners and minorities in pain: tear gas explosions, fights in the streets, looting, this time involving sad, small-town black people in Ferguson, all of them protesting the acquittal of that murderous white cop.


There are a handful of shows I watch, but I'm not stupid enough to get my 'news' from any mainstream media outlet.  My TV viewing is likely about 2-3 hours a week.  And, while there are many instances of genuine police misconduct in this country, you've picked one which was actually a clean shoot.  I have no idea why you people support thugs above innocent victims.


Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.  Now, let's see if I can peg you, Mr. Morford.  Just a fun little mental exercise...


You’re a scared white male.  You wouldn't dream of living anywhere outside of a major city, and think that living near a university somehow makes you smart.  You might even have a college degree in something completely irrelevant like Sociology or Gender Studies.  You might have travelled outside America, to all those exciting places in Europe and Asia, but you wouldn't dream of going to such a gauche and uncivilized place like Africa.  Of course, you have completely failed to learn anything of use from your travels.  You did bring back a lot of souvenir knickknacks, though, so all your friends will know how well-travelled and worldly you are.


You read all the books that the cool kids do, like Das Kapital, The Bell Jar, Catcher In The Rye, etc., and can pontificate endlessly about them without actually forming an original thought.


You make it a point to be into whatever the newest, weirdest thing is, just for the sake of it.  You support the rights of women and gays, and simultaneously support Islam.  You're for freedom of religion for everyone but Christians, and you defend free speech for everyone but conservatives.


You get most of your news from NPR and any left-leaning site on the internet, but you'd never dream of reading one thing on the Blaze, Breitbart or any site that doesn't completely support every single Leftist talking point.  On the rare occasion you do encounter a differing point of view, you totally lose your shit and start hurling insults and character assassination instead of arguing the facts.


How'd I do?  ;)