07 June 2011

An open letter to Christopher Titus

Mr. Titus, believe it or not, I feel for you.  You've suffered a whole lot in your life, much of it unjustly.  I understand how that can make you bitter, and at least you've been able to turn much of that anger to a productive endeavor.  I admire and respect that part of you.

However, I am greatly disturbed by your recent remarks.  If they were meant in the spirit of your usual dark and snarky comedy, you failed greatly.

“You know what man?” Titus said. “I am going to literally — if she gets elected president, I am going to hang out on the grassy knoll all the time, just loaded and ready — because you know what? It’s for my country. It’s for my country. If I got to sacrifice myself, it’s for my country.”
Full article here.  As I said, I hope this statement was a very misguided attempt at humor,  However, if you were serious, then I'm here to let you know that I am also willing to sacrifice myself for my country.  Literally.

I hereby offer to take the bullet for Governor Palin.

Yes, I'm absolutely, one hundred percent dead serious.  If you intend to follow through on your words, I invite you to contact me.  I will give you directions to my home, supply you with any of the guns in our arsenal, and allow you to shoot me point-blank through the head, offering no defense at all. 

Really.  No crap.  I'll even supply the loaded gun.

This will have one of two outcomes.  Either you'll find out you can't go through with it, which should tell you exactly what you're really made of(and perhaps inspire some greatly-needed introspection on your part)...or you'll do it, in which case you'll be in prison and Governor Palin will have one less threat to deal with.

Whaddya say?

UPDATE:  Never mind...problem solved.

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