25 April 2013

Cats and guns and Proglodyte idiocy

Ah, cats and guns.  Two of my favorite things.  (BTW, it's Sam's 7th birthday today.  Still a finicky little prima donna, but we love him.)

Anyway, I know most Conservatives are dog folks, but I don't hold it against 'em.  It is possible, contrary to popular belief, to train a cat.  The method?  A squirt bottle.

Most cats hate getting wet.  So, when your furball starts acting the fool, give him a couple of blasts of water, and he'll immediately run off somewhere private to lick that nasty dihydrogen monoxide off his precious fur.  But if you want the training to stick, it's important that, to him, it comes out of nowhere.  You can't let the cat see you hose him.  If he does, he'll do whatever he likes when you're not around.  He'll walk up to the squirt bottle, sniff it, mark it and pay it no attention...until you reach for it.

See, it doesn't take a cat long to figure out that it's not the device, it's the human pulling the trigger.  So, Proglodyte gun-grabbers, if you are unable to wrap your brain around this selfsame concept, you officially have less critical thinking ability than a common housecat.

How does it feel to be that stupid?  It hurts me just thinking about it--I don't know how you survive.

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