18 February 2013

Volunteering to man the roadblock

Attention, Kalifornians:  PISS OFF.  WE'RE FULL.

The Scatmans, Petersons, and thousands of other residents fleeing California may not agree on everything, such as what amount of fine one should face if they do not recycle their glass, plastic, and paper goods ($200 vs. $300 per infraction), or what state income tax rate is suitable for a “family” of two or more making $60,000 or above (52% vs. 59%). However they do agree on one thing: the California they helped ruin must be brought to other states, the “redder” the better, and that they must seek refuge from the dystopia they helped create and thus will no doubt leave their decedents clamoring to escape from again.

“We’re thinking Florida,” said Joseph Peterson. “We hear they don’t charge 10-cents per plastic shopping bag there to prevent dolphins from choking to death. How insensitive! We should move there and help completely fuck up their lives, too.”

Added Peterson, “We have no choice –we must move to other locations and also make them ‘blue,’ so years from now people will have to flee from them, too. That’s what enlightened people like us do.”
Yep, that's exactly it.

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