Showing posts with label Snark. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Snark. Show all posts

16 June 2015

OW! Beer in sinuses...

I was quoting part of this post to Mrs Wraith:

Me:   "Personally, I’d like to divide them into two teams and put them on “Hell’s Kitchen,” because that would tell us more about them than a bunch of “debates,” which are really nothing more than interviews with scripted questions and scanned answers."

Mrs. Wraith:  But can you imagine their risotto?  Ew.

And this is why I married her.  :)




09 March 2015

Let's do a thought experiment!

We've secretly replaced this article's Communism bent with references to National Socialism.  Let's see what happens!  :)




Worried that you are beginning to hate one of your friends or family members because they have told you that they are a National Socialist?


1 Understand that you don't have to agree with your friend. Many people are pro-Israel, pro-Gay and non-Aryan-Supremacist and that's fine.


2  Show respect to any Nazis you know. Don't constantly criticize their beliefs. They have the same rights of opinions as you do. Ignore their beliefs and treat them based on the respect you feel they deserve.


3  Don't take it personally. Your friend doesn't hold fascist beliefs just to anger you. If you start feeling angry during a conversation with your friend, ask yourself where the anger is coming from. It might not actually have its source in your friend's beliefs. It's okay to be vulnerable.

4  Learn about Nazism instead of making judgments based off of popular conceptions or propaganda. Try reading Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler or Goebbels on the Power of Propaganda by Goebbels.

5  Remember that a real National Socialist does not support a dictatorship of inferior races over the population. Nazis do support what is called a dictatorship but all this means is that the Master Race have control over political power and the state and use this power to defend Nazism from attacks by their inferiors.

6  Consider researching the core beliefs of Nazism, but if you don't you should probably show respect for their beliefs nevertheless. But remember that you don't have to sacrifice your own principles for them.

7  Focus on the better things in your friendship. Don't just argue about fascism vs. capitalism all the time. Life is too short for that. Flowers, for example. They are pretty good-smelling, aren't they?

8  Support your friend if other people pick on them. Nazis have to hear quite a bit of insults about their beliefs, and that is not very fair.




I can hear the squalling now.  "That's not a fair comparison!!"  Considering that the 3rd Reich only murdered around 13-16 million people, and Communism has slaughtered over one hundred million in the last hundred years, that comparison really isn't fair...


...to the Nazis.

07 December 2014

"...it's just that they know so much that isn't so."

Via the illustrious Tam, we have a boilerplate example of how the Left thinks of us.  Seriously, dude appears to be the perfect stereotype of the angry, snarky, frightened Proglodyte, projecting his inadequacies all over people who can actually cope with reality.  Here's his bigoted screed, in italics, which I will answer below.


You’re a scared white person, almost certainly male.


White and male, correct.  Scared?  Nope.  I can deal with whatever life throws at me.  Except running out of beer.  That's terrifying.


You do not live in a major city, or near a university or intellectual hub of any note, nor have you ever traveled very far from your home town, much less out of state or anywhere further than, say, Mexico. Once. And that was enough.


I do not currently live in a major city, because I grew up in them and decided that the crime, traffic and constant light and noise weren't really anything I wanted to deal with.  Oh, and the two metro areas I grew up in were about as liberal as you can possibly get.  I've been to more than one foreign country, and been all over North America.


You do not read complicated books.


My house has a library, and we're running out of room in it.  I've been reading since I was younger than three, and my SAT's are in the 98th percentile.


You do not like new or weird things.


You have no idea how incorrect you are.


You watch lots of TV, mostly Fox News, which rejoices in showing you endless images of angry foreigners and minorities in pain: tear gas explosions, fights in the streets, looting, this time involving sad, small-town black people in Ferguson, all of them protesting the acquittal of that murderous white cop.


There are a handful of shows I watch, but I'm not stupid enough to get my 'news' from any mainstream media outlet.  My TV viewing is likely about 2-3 hours a week.  And, while there are many instances of genuine police misconduct in this country, you've picked one which was actually a clean shoot.  I have no idea why you people support thugs above innocent victims.


Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.  Now, let's see if I can peg you, Mr. Morford.  Just a fun little mental exercise...


You’re a scared white male.  You wouldn't dream of living anywhere outside of a major city, and think that living near a university somehow makes you smart.  You might even have a college degree in something completely irrelevant like Sociology or Gender Studies.  You might have travelled outside America, to all those exciting places in Europe and Asia, but you wouldn't dream of going to such a gauche and uncivilized place like Africa.  Of course, you have completely failed to learn anything of use from your travels.  You did bring back a lot of souvenir knickknacks, though, so all your friends will know how well-travelled and worldly you are.


You read all the books that the cool kids do, like Das Kapital, The Bell Jar, Catcher In The Rye, etc., and can pontificate endlessly about them without actually forming an original thought.


You make it a point to be into whatever the newest, weirdest thing is, just for the sake of it.  You support the rights of women and gays, and simultaneously support Islam.  You're for freedom of religion for everyone but Christians, and you defend free speech for everyone but conservatives.


You get most of your news from NPR and any left-leaning site on the internet, but you'd never dream of reading one thing on the Blaze, Breitbart or any site that doesn't completely support every single Leftist talking point.  On the rare occasion you do encounter a differing point of view, you totally lose your shit and start hurling insults and character assassination instead of arguing the facts.


How'd I do?  ;)

19 November 2014

Yeah, pretty much.

If the Global Warming Climate Change The Sky Is Falling people actually want me to take any of their bullcrap seriously, they might try--JUST ONCE--making a prediction of future events that even remotely resembles reality.



I don't know about the science, but the evidence says these fools are full of it.

(Image jacked from Uncle Jay)

12 May 2014

Grammar Nazi

Attention, please:


A "PALATE" is 1) the roof of the mouth; 2) a sense of discernment concerning the taste and quality of food or drink.


A "PALLET" is what you put freight on.


Know the difference.  The language you save may be your own.

07 May 2014

I am a "RACIST!"

This post from the fine folks at DethGuild has convinced me to come out of the closet.


I believe that I can run my life better than a bunch of government appointees.


I believe that every single person, regardless of race or gender, has the right to live peacefully as they will and that they should all be judged equally under the law.


I believe that we should be a nation of laws, not men.


I believe that my personal affairs are no one else's business.


I believe in the dignity of hard work and earning one's way in the world.


I believe that there are no free men in welfare lines.


I believe that my life belongs to myself and God, and no one else.


Therefore, according to conventional Proglodyte standards...


I'M A RACIST!!!






Let's make this as viral as "I Am The 99%."  Are you a racist, too?

21 March 2014

Try this one on your Lib friends:



"A liberal paradise would be a place where everybody has guaranteed
employment, free comprehensive healthcare, free education, free food, free
housing, free clothing, free utilities, and only law enforcement has guns.
And believe it or not, such a place does, indeed, exist: It's called
prison."



Sheriff Joe Arpaio
Maricopa County Sheriff's Office


(HT Blue)

18 December 2013

Why we laugh at them

I'm going to show you two pictures.  These were taken in the restroom of a government warehouse.

Not a public building, mind you--a warehouse.  Somewhere you wouldn't expect anyone but government employees to be.

I shit you not, this is true.



These are the people who think they're qualified to run our lives.  Not only do they have to be reminded not to drink out of the toilets, and not only do the toilets have to be flushed automatically(are they incapable of understanding the concept of a flush handle?), but they didn't even remember to refill the butt-gasket dispenser.

13 June 2013

Good news and bad news

The good news is my little rant-filled corner of cyberspace has seven followers.

The bad news is, I'm pretty sure they're all the NSA.

10 May 2013

The LawDog on government tantrums

No one lays down the snark with as much class and talent as this unassuming Texas Deputy.

Matter-of-fact, this whole sorry episode is going to be another footnote in the annals of history that future scholars will point to and say, "This was the period of time in which the Government of the United States consisted solely of people who didn't have any business running anything more complicated than a lemonade stand without adult supervision."

RTWT.  And I totally concur with his prescription for our Lords and Masters...it might be just what they need.

07 May 2013

Mr. Colion Noir: I'll have your back any day!

Via Say Uncle, the latest from one of the Jedi Masters of Snark.



We Conservatives totally got that whole "not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character" thing.  Why are the Proglodytes still stuck in 1950's Alabama?

01 February 2013

Public Service Announcement


This brilliant piece of satire brought to you by the awesome webcomic Failure to Fire.  Amazingly enough, it's created by a self-described liberal.  Really.

I'll try not to hold it against 'em, though...  ;)

16 September 2012

11 September 2012

ObamaCare in one sentence

This just HAS to go viral...I laughed my ass off.


Illinois, repent of your sins in sending that thing to the White House and vote for this woman!

(HT TSM)

07 August 2012

More Tea Party racism!!

at a most excellent blog, Essex & Orange.


See?  Whiter than a polar bear in a blizzard!  Can't find a single non-Caucasian in the whole crowd!

(Sadly, even upon viewing the photo, there are some who won't get the joke.  Demented, I tell ya.)